Dead and Dinner on the Doorstep
by hummingbirds2
Summary: Set the night after DR ends. At her own front door, Pam meets someone who should be dead and gone. "F#%k a zombie," Pam says, in surprise. Miriam returns. Snarky Sidekick Contest Winning Entry. Rated M for language/adult concepts
1. F&ck A Zombie

**Dead and Dinner on the Doorstep**

My Entry for **The Snarky Sidekick Contest**

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><p>Many thanks to <strong>AllAboutEric<strong> for her ninja betaing skills. Much appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: The universe and all the characters are borrowed from Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire Mystery series. Thank you.

**Summary**: Set the night after DR finishes. At her own front door, Pam meets someone, who should definitely be, dead and gone. "F#%k a zombie," Pam says, in surprise. And not much can surprise Pam! What or who could it be? Rated M for language and adult concepts.

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><p>"Soooooo Pam," Miriam said, with a satisfied grin, "what's it like to fuck a zombie?"<p>

Miriam lay naked on my bed, sated and smiling, as I unstrapped my hipster harness complete with its hot-pink, plastic penis. Miriam had always enjoyed bright colours. Oh, and powerful penetration! Vampire-assisted speed had only ever added to our playtime pleasure. Nothing new there then!

Of course, I was satisfied, too. Stories, that zombies lacked coordination, must have been greatly exaggerated. There was nothing wrong with Miriam's movements. The way she had stroked and suckled at my clitoral-crowned chasm (yeah, the 'c' word) was nothing short of wicked.

I smirked at our mutual satisfaction. Fuck a zombie! And I had! Miriam was here, as dead as I was, or maybe even deader. I wasn't sure which one of us would win in the 'Miss Most-Undead' stakes. Not that a stake would worry Miriam too much; maybe one to the head would kill her, but certainly not anywhere else - although it could prove to be …. ah, 'unhealing' and unattractive, and not the sort of penetration she preferred.

I dropped the harness to the floor and snuggled up to Miriam's now-cold body. Oh yes, I liked to snuggle - with the right person - every bit as much as a certain undead Viking. In fact, his, was the last cold body I had snuggled with. It felt odd though - Miriam being cold - but I had been planning on turning her dead-cold, the same as myself, anyway! And that's why I could _feel_ her; why I knew she really was satisfied. Our blood connection was alive again, now that both of us were corpses animated magically. My blood; I'd given her so much of it, trying to save her human life, waiting for Victor's okay to the 'turn'. It was a wonder Miriam hadn't turned accidentally. Not that I had been trying to accidentally turn Miriam against Victor's wishes. Oh no! Not me! Not much!

"Come on, spill! What's it like to fuck a zombie?" Miriam urged again.

"I do not … 'spill', Miriam, but as you've just popped my zombie-fucking cherry, you may deserve an answer." I tweaked Miriam's nipple, as I said this, and was a little relieved when it didn't come off in my hand. I still wasn't sure what to expect, still virtually-virgin at zombie-fucking.

"Aw, come on. Don't punish me with silence on the subject, Pam."

"Punish you! Don't be so tempting, Miriam." And she was tempting. Only Miriam could pull off this emaciated, heroin-addict look with style. She could earn a fortune as a catwalk model for Vogue.

Miriam's cool fingers tweaked my nipple, sharply, and then circled it gently. She knew I liked that.

"Ouch! Enough with the_ torture_," I pretended, as the pinches continued. "You've got my attention. So … 'fuck a zombie' … a phrase I use when … surprised. Not that much ever _does _surprise me. But I've got to admit, I am _slightly_ surprised, to have found myself _actually_ fucking a zombie tonight." Yes, totally.

Miriam laughed while giving my nipple, now crushed-crimson, a final twist. Nice touch! She certainly wasn't a weak, sickly human any longer. "Yup, I could tell you were _slightly_ surprised when I was at your front door with Amelia. You said, 'Fuck a zombie'. I said, 'Yes, please', and that's how we ended up here in your bedroom."

"Well, your memory seems to be intact, Miriam …. almost. Do you remember that I had to tie up a loose end or two, before I could grant your 'fucking' request?"

Miriam bent her head to get a few good licks in, on my sensitized nipple. I wasn't complaining that the conversation had slowed; the muscle-memory in Miriam's tongue was definitely intact too.

After a final sharp nip, Miriam's eyes met mine. "Oh, yeah," she agreed, "we didn't end up fucking immediately. First, you took great pleasure in gagging and restraining Amelia, my bokor, the one who used witchcraft to re-animate me."

"Perfect recall, Miriam. I thought zombies were supposed to be mindless, but there's nothing wrong with your dead old zombie brain."

"Less of the old, please. I'm a barely-born zombie," Miriam said. "Can I still be your snarky sidekick, if I'm a zombie and not a vampire?"

Well, that was the question! Miriam was in excellent shape now - no bits falling off anywhere - and I had inspected her up-close and personally. But didn't zombies rot, then dismember and disintegrate over time? Maybe with enough human flesh, especially brains to eat, Miriam would stay ... healthy? Who knew?

The bed bounced a little. A muffled groan, from the third occupant of the bed, sounded behind me. Miriam and I both turned over to our left - synchronized rolling - to look at Amelia. Her eyes were flashing sparks and if they'd been real, I would have been smoldering by now – burnt to a cinder. Ashy, in fact!

Amelia looked angry and uncomfortable. Good! She was very fortunate not to be drained dry. At that thought, I flashed her my widest, toothiest grin. What was she doing practising some sort of New Orleans' voodoo on my Miriam, by turning her into a zombie? Not that I was complaining right at this moment! But then, there'd also been that bond-breaking business. Amelia was lucky Eric hadn't killed her. Quite the risk-taker was Amelia!

I snapped my fangs fully down and growled.

Amelia struggled, quite uselessly, against the bindings. I hissed. More muffled mutterings followed. The ball gag, filling Amelia's mouth, was preventing any obscenities or nasty little spells escaping. Of course, I had trussed Amelia up before, but not quite like this - not with her legs closed anyway! Her arms were tightly tied together above her head and knotted to the bedpost; her ankles were secured to the bedpost at the bottom of my four-poster. Ah, my four-poster … It was a bit antiquated for my 21st century taste, but the posts just kept coming in way too handy!

Miriam pressed her bony frame against my back and wrapped an arm around me. She got a good tweak in on my neglected nipple. Miriam was always very thorough, but I kept my attention on Amelia. I needed an explanation. Maybe, it would help answer Miriam's question too.

"Amelia, you will explain. Don't tempt me to crush your larynx, by saying something I might not like." I disengaged the gag's strap. "Open," I ordered. Amelia obeyed. I removed the ball and gag at vampire speed and placed my hand lightly across her throat, with just a hint of nail scratching her warm flesh; a warning. The gag was close by too. Interfering witches were fun to play with, but care still needed to be taken. "Watch what you say, Amelia. Just watch it."

"I have been watching _it_," she snapped.

"Jealous?" I let my hand caress her jaw line. Then, I trailed my index fingernail down her neck and along her collar bone. Amelia shuddered, and it wasn't with arousal as she saw me glance at her throat. I hadn't fed … not yet!

"Tell me, what you have done, Amelia," I stated, returning my hand to her throat. I smelt fear, Amelia's fear. Miriam smelled a lot like me, and not of rotting zombie flesh, not even a little! Fear and me; how aromatically pleasing!

Amelia renewed her pathetic, wriggling efforts. Seriously! It was like watching a worm on a hook, or so I imagined.

"Aw, come on, Pam. Let me loose. I'm getting pins and needles in my hands and feet," Amelia whined.

"Now there's an idea! I'll just get my embroidery case from the nightstand."

"Pam! Stop tormenting me. You need me. I'm Miriam's bokor. I raised her from her coffin at the undertaker. I control her. I ….."

"Are you sure about that last statement? You haven't been controlling much more than your blinking, breathing and bladder, since you arrived at my front door with my dead lover; now … a …. zombie!"

Amelia grimaced a little. Yes, I had made my point without a needle! Damn!

Suddenly, Miriam quivered. She pressed more closely into my back, her razor-sharp hip bones digging in. She held onto my nipple for dear …. life. I'd have matching nipple sensitivity! Yes, Miriam was thorough, but this clinging ... It didn't feel right. Miriam didn't feel right. My blood in her felt … muted. Was Amelia trying some more voodoo-doodoo on Miriam? I decided to take control, to break Amelia's … ah ... concentration.

"Miriam, tickle Amelia's feet." And that's what Miriam did. Mercilessly!

Over the hysterical, sobbing laughter (and that was just Miriam who was thoroughly enjoying her role as torturer), Amelia tried with various incoherent mutterings to make Miriam cease; not decease though. Self-preservation did not seem to be one of Amelia's strengths, but even she appeared to realize I would kill her outright, if anything bad happened to Miriam.

Eventually, Miriam did stop, but only because I told her to. There was only going to be one mistress in this room.

"Crap," gasped an exhausted Amelia.

"Not here, Amelia," I said sternly. "I hope that's still within your own control too. Miriam, however, certainly is not."

"Well, she was! Until we got here!"

"Miriam, is that true?"

"Well, maybe. I don't remember much. I knew I was raised from the dead, a zombie. But when you opened the front door I just, sort of, came alive again."

"So Amelia, explain! If you are the bokor, why am I in charge?" I asked. Apart from the obvious, that is!

As she opened her mouth to reply, I slashed my wrist on a fang, and jammed it between her lips, vamp-quick. Shocked, Amelia swallowed my blood, no questions asked – not that she could with a mouthful of me! I felt the slight connection grow; I felt Amelia's horror. Ah, sweet success! I removed my healed wrist and leisurely licked it clean. Yum!

"Yuk! Yuk! Fuck!" Amelia spat. Amelia was a poet and she didn't even know it! I laughed.

"Fuck you, Pam!" Amelia spat again, through blood-stained lips.

"Maybe later, Amelia! I knew my blood would make me more attractive to you, but your immediate desire for me is spectacular," I teased, deliberately misunderstanding. "Now, you will like me more and I will know you better. I'll feel the truth of your intentions and your answers, Amelia. So don't hold back, because I _will_ know."

"Why didn't you just glamour me for answers then? Why blood?" I could feel Amelia's shocked displeasure. These emotions of hers were easy to read and accommodate. They were nothing; nothing compared to feeling Miriam's despair, as she had weakened from her illness. Nothing compared to the feeling of Miriam being gone.

"You know, I can break any blood ties or bonds you might force on me!" Amelia added.

"Only if you are not dead!"

"Aw, c'mon Pam. You know you need me to keep Miriam ... alive."

"That has yet to be determined!" I said. But I could feel Amelia's belief in this statement.

Miriam felt uncertain. She stood like a statue next to Amelia's tied feet. No unattractive zombie-shuffling at all! She looked more vampire than zombie, in her stillness. Nice! It felt good to see her. It felt good to feel her through my blood still alive in her! _My blood was still alive in her_. I repeated that thought to myself again. Surely my blood should have died with Miriam, if she had died … completely.

I had a very strange sensation. Was it excitement? Maybe? Could I have? Had I managed to begin an accidental turning after all? Fuck a zombie … or not? What had Immanuel said? Miriam had just stopped breathing; although not unexpected, still sooner than anticipated.

I stared harder at Miriam trying to see anything vampiric, apart from her stillness; but I couldn't. As if to aid my scrutiny, Miriam did a little spin on the spot. The tattoo on her left butt-cheek twitched as she turned – 'Pam 4ever', it read. I wondered what we could do about that.

"Miriam, untie Amelia," I said, "I have finished playing … for now." I retracted my fangs. It was time to throw Amelia completely off balance by being nice! Ugh! But 'nice' after 'nasty' often yielded the best results. And she was Miriam's bokor.

I looked at Amelia. "I haven't glamoured you, because I believe you are Miriam's bokor. And I don't want to affect your mind in any way, not while you are using voodoo to animate Miriam."

With Amelia released, the three of us - the witch, the zombie and the vampire (I'm sure there must be a joke about that somewhere) - arranged ourselves. We sat cross-legged, facing each other on top of the bed. Amelia's physical discomfort had disappeared, not that she appreciated the beneficial effects of my blood in her. I could feel her unhappiness, but she was more at ease, not being tied. Not by ropes, at least!

"Tell me, how do you know Miriam?" I smiled. Just a girl's night in. Right?

"I don't know Miriam, not really," she began.

"_Really_?" I said, not a bit surprised.

"Well, she was in the hospital asleep, when I first met her."

"Go on," I urged. It was like extracting teeth; difficult, but still to be enjoyed. I smiled, flashing only a little fang. I was being nice, after all.

"Okay, okay," Amelia said, "I get the _point_! The last time Bob and I visited Sookie, we …. ah …. left a little earlier than expected, so Bob decided to visit Immanuel on the way home. Bob and Immanuel had met at the Natural Hair Show in New Orleans and Bob wanted to visit Immanuel's salon – Death by Fashion. As it turned out, he was going to the hospital to be with his sister, Miriam, so we followed him there. Immanuel told us that Miriam was waiting for you to turn her. He was surprised when he found out I knew you. And now I'm starting to wish I didn't."

"I can arrange for you to forget all about me, Amelia," I said helpfully. "Just not yet! Go on," I encouraged a pale-looking Amelia. She was one mixed-up blood bag; fear and regret swirled through her veins, but she was being honest. So far, so good!

"Well, after getting back to New Orleans, Immanuel kept in touch with Bob. He called us when Miriam passed. He said you hadn't been able to turn her in time; you hadn't been able to say goodbye, because she died in the daytime. So I thought I'd be nice and give you a chance to say goodbye, by practising my ..."

I cut in. "So on impulse … without asking anyone … you thought you would practise your voodoo-juju on my Miriam. Are you very skilled at raising zombies, Amelia?"

"Well … um … that would be a no. Miriam is my first."

"So, zero zombies raised, ever before! Wasn't it a little experimental then? Risky, even?"

"Um, maybe, but I knew it should be easy. Miriam was freshly passed and I placed her body in stasis, as soon as I arrived at the undertakers today, so she would ….. ah, keep. She hadn't even been dead for 24 hours when I reached her." Amelia was quite proud of herself, and I could feel her good intentions (ick), but there was something else.

"What else did you intend? What are you afraid of?"

"Geez, Pam, what do you think? When I texted you a couple of nights ago to ask if Eric was going to kill me over the blood-bond breaking, you texted back: 'No, he won't, but I might'. So I thought I would try and make it up to you. Like I said – 'do something nice'. I raised Miriam, so you could say goodbye."

"Aw, aren't you sweet, Amelia? You wanted to suck up to me!" Amelia shuddered at the 'suck' word. She was so funny.

"Believe me, I am regretting any kind of sucking up now."

"I know, I can feel it," I reminded her, "but sucking is not your problem. It is your 'impulse issues', as Dear Abby would call them, that will get you killed one day. Let me reassure you. I'll only suck you dry, if something bad happens to Miriam now." See, I was being sweet too, giving good advice.

Amelia didn't feel reassured though. She was worried, but strangely still at ease as well. I wondered if my vampire-blood whammy was kicking in, making her feel safe in my presence, no matter what was happening.

"So then, Amelia, what has gone wrong? Why can't you control Miriam?" I asked.

"I don't know," she wailed. "It's like my magic has been on dim, since we got here."

"No juice in your juju?" I quipped.

"Not enough to be able to control Miriam, like a good bokor should," she said. "Miriam was definitely dead; is definitely a zombie, but it's like something else is animating her as well. And that something has more … juice. Miriam doesn't even seem as zombie-like here, not like she did before we got to your house. She's just so well put-together, physically and mentally, around you."

My gaze swept over Miriam's slight form. "Very nicely put-together," I agreed. Miriam smiled, her brown eyes looking huge in her small face. She was feeling good in death. I knew that feeling.

"Amelia, how much do you know about vampire blood magic?"

"More than I would like to," she grimaced. "You really can feel me?"

"Yes, Amelia, I can. Why would you be surprised by that? Your research into blood bonds must have revealed much about vampire blood and its effects."

"Yeah, but research and reality are two different things," she said, pouting.

"Exactly," I said. "So, as Dear Abby says, always think before you act, Amelia. So, thinking about blood magic …."

"What do you want to know?" I could sense Amelia's eagerness to be helpful now. My blood was certainly topping up her own natural tendencies.

"I can feel Miriam through my blood," I said slowly. Amelia's face was a picture, a gasping, gawping-fish picture. Quite unattractive! But I had her hooked, with interest and blood. "My blood is alive in Miriam, as if she had never died. I felt it as soon as I opened my door to you."

Amelia composed herself, thankfully. "Well, that can't be right. If a person dies without being turned, the blood magic dies too. So Miriam should not be attached to you, not magically anyway."

"But she is. My blood lives on in her." I glanced at Miriam and tried to send her a blast of lust through my blood. Our blood tie only seemed to be getting stronger in death.

Miriam confirmed it. "Gotcha," she said, with a very zombie-like eye roll; white orbs glistened in her white face. Ah, Miriam's eye roll trick, always performed when …. orgasmic. The very first time she had come for me, I thought I had killed her as those eyes had rolled right back. I'd been pissed; dead blood-bag disposal was such a chore. Of course, her heartbeat had given her away! Then I'd made her pay for that little trick by seeing how many more times, I could make her do it. A lot was the answer! Miriam's eyes had been spinning. And she'd liked it!

"Back atcha," Miriam said. And I could feel her lust for me. For corpses, our connection was hot!

Amelia was continuing. "Well, I would have to say that if the blood magic is still alive in Miriam, and she is dead, then she ... must … be … turning."

The discordant tones of 'Victor's Deception' from the Corpse Bride soundtrack broke into the conversation. It was my phone. I really needed to change that ringtone! Ha! Was there a 'Victor's Dead' track somewhere?

"Eric?" I answered.

"_What is going on, apart from sex? There is a …. presence in our blood. And it is not Sookie's, unfortunately!"_

"Miriam is here, Eric." Dead silence. "You know Amelia?" Even deader silence. "She raised Miriam as a zombie from her coffin, so that I could say goodbye. Wasn't Amelia sweet?"

"_Is she dead then, the witch_?" I'd never heard Eric call Amelia that before! But surprisingly, Amelia did seem to have 'skills', particularly when trying to be …. helpful. Useful! For me to know, that is.

"No, I should not have used the past tense in that phrase – not yet anyway! She is Miriam's bokor. I have given Amelia a little blood for control purposes. I am helping with her impulse issues. Can you feel her?"

"_No. Too little blood and too far away. I may have had to punish you severely if I could feel the witch, Pamela. So ... it must be Miriam …. who is a zombie! Do you feel her?"_

"Oh yes! I have felt her and fucked her," I explained. "My blood is still very much alive in her. I can feel it very clearly, now she is raised and near me."

"_You should get Miriam back inside her coffin, Pamela. If the blood is still alive, she may be turning. I don't know how successful it will be, since she has been raised once by the witch, but our blood is strong. Give her more. It could strengthen the turn."_

Now I knew what excited was. Me! It was all so unexpected. Amelia's research and Eric's knowledge led to the same place. Right here to Miriam turning!

"_Don't drink from Miriam yourself, Pam. In zombie form, her blood may be toxic. Amelia, is still with you? She may be of use … for a change."_

I got the message. Useful! And Amelia did_ so_ like to help. If I gave Miriam a lot of blood, Amelia could make up for it … and some other things. It sounded like a plan I could get used to. "I've got it."

"_Once Miriam is safely back in her coffin, stay near. I don't know how long an accidental turn - with interruptions - will take. Miriam had one full night dead; this is her second. She may have been going to rise sometime tonight."_

"Eric, Amelia put Miriam in stasis for part of the day, to preserve her body. Would that stop the turning's magic?"

It was my-little-helper, Amelia, who answered first. "Oh! It definitely stops it. Just mention Jake Purifoy to Eric." Jake, a werewolf, had turned successfully (sort of, but that was another story) after being under Amelia's stasis in Hadley's flat. Eric had told me about it, as Sookie had been injured. Again!

I didn't need to repeat anything though. Eric heard and understood._ "Tomorrow would seem more likely then. Mustapha is dumping the bodies,"_ Eric added finall_y. _Aw, he was being nice.

Eric was talking about the humans who had died at Fangtasia, during the Regent-killing concert last night. Victor, the Wannabe-King was dead, but I say 'Long Live the King'! And I meant Bubba. It had been a brilliant evening: the singing - superb, the fighting – ferocious and the killing - complete. Sookie and I taking out Victor together; it had been poetry in motion. But Eric knew how I hated dumping dead blood-bags. He was initiating Mustapha into collateral-damage disposal.

"_I'll tell him to collect Miriam's coffin in the van and bring it to you, as soon as he gets back from the dead-dumping at Sookie's."_

"Sookie's?" I drawled. What was Eric saying?

"_Yes, Sookie's."_ Then he explained. "_There's a fairy portal in her woods. Corpses can be passed through it. They are finished off on the fairy side. Total disposal."_ How convenient! Some girls had all the luck! But that was Sookie for you, always so surprising.

"And you know this, how?"

"_Jannalynn Hopper, Alcide's lieutenant rang. She wanted to let me know I owed the Pack a favour! Sookie shot Sandra Pelt today; Jannalynn finished the Pelt Were off. Then they put her body into the portal. Sookie's idea!" _Eric was proud. Sookie may loathe violence, but she was a survivor. I imagine Sandra Pelt had underestimated my friend._ "I told Jannalynn that Alcide owed us - considering the shaman shit he pulled on Sookie, without my consent."_

For certain, I thought. "So Sookie shot both Pelts in the end."

"_So she did. Sookie is quite the expert at killing supernaturals! But back to the creation of a supernatural, your child. I'll contact Mustapha now. Remember - plenty of blood and get Miriam back into that coffin." _As if _I_ would forget!

Snap! And he was gone. The call concluded, I placed the phone on my nightstand. Maybe 'New Arrival' from my Corpse Bride soundtrack would work as a ringtone. Or perhaps, 'According to Plan', if it all did go ... according to plan.

I regarded Miriam and stroked her cheek. She'd have to die again, either way.

"Eric thinks you may be turning. How does being my _vampire_ snarky sidekick sound, Miriam?"

Amelia spoke up first, though. "Sookie shot someone?"

"Yes, today she did. And last night, together, we killed Victor – Loser, as I now think of him. We decapitated him … half way each …with a sword … through blood, bone and gristle."

Amelia looked a little sick once more, actually zombie-like in pallor, but Miriam, the zombie, was thrilled. She punched the air in victory. "Yes," she smirked. "I only wish I had been there to see it." Ah, sentimental!

"Can we celebrate? Fuck a zombie _again_, Pam? It may be your last chance, if I'm turning," Miriam pointed out. "And if this turns out to be our final goodbye, just as Amelia planned, then I will have loved every fucking minute of it."

"Or fucked, almost every loving minute of it, Miriam?" There, I'd said that word. I knew she got it.

"Ditto on the fucking loved comment!" Miriam replied.

Amelia fidgeted, drawing our attention. "So where do I fit into all this … this fucking?" she asked. Amelia felt interested, not fearful or sickly any longer. My blood had certainly warmed up her 'whammy'. I could feel that she liked me better. Pleasing me would please her, too.

"Where would you like to fit, Amelia?" I asked. Miriam and I had always enjoyed three-in-a-bed.

"Do you think I could zombie-fuck too?" she asked, hesitantly. "It was quite the show you two put on, while I was all tied up."

I felt lust all round. It coursed through me, heating my blood. I basked in the warmth. Eric had said I would get to like feelings, and he was right.

I smelled arousal …. times three.

You do the math!

We'll do the …

The next night

I watched Miriam's coffin, as it rested on the trestle next to my bed. The grains of salt used by Amelia in the 'dezombification' process glistened on its surface. I waited.

Dear Abby had no advice for this particular situation. The conception of my first child had been plagued by …. ah, complications, and now all I could do during the 'birth' was _push_ or _open_ a coffin lid. I waited.

Then my blood stirred. A new presence simply rippled through me, taking its place deep inside my very being. My child!

I _pushed_ the coffin's lid_ open_. Salt fell away. Done!

Immediately, Miriam's vampire glow illuminated the candlelit room. Well, that was a relief! And I hoped that she didn't have any left-over, flesh-eating tendencies in her new form or a certain witch would be dead meat. My eyes skimmed over Miriam's tiny, coffined body. She was beautiful; waif-like and ethereal in death. Looking good, Miriam, I thought! I'd always had excellent taste. And then she opened her big, brown eyes! And snapped down … the most enormous fangs!

I almost said, 'Fuck a zombie' in surprise, but that may have caused some confusion.

So I smirked and said, "Fuck! A vampire!" to my _fully_-fanged friend. No doubt about it!

"Yes, please," Miriam lisped.

"Me too ... or three," requested Miriam's first meal. Amelia, my helpful witch, was tied to the bed, legs akimbo!

Isn't vampire blood a wonderful thing?

So, no more fucking zombies!

**The End**

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><p><strong>AN **I have added another two chapters. The next is from Amelia's POV. It is her thoughts while being tied up and watching Pam and Miriam get to know each other again. The last chapter is from Miriam's POV as she makes the most of her unexpected time with Pam. It ends just before F&*k a Zombie begins. Both chapters are sexual in nature...they are all in bed!;)


	2. Just a Kiss and a Cuddle

**Just a Kiss and a Cuddle**

**Beta:** AllAboutEric (big big thanks xxx)

**Disclaimer**: The Southern Vampire Mystery universe and all the characters used here belong to Charlaine Harris.

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><p><strong>Summary<strong>: Amelia raised Miriam from the dead to be a zombie, so Pam can say goodbye to her properly. Pam didn't like to be surprised at first. She wasn't happy with Amelia who had practised her (unasked for) zombie-raising magic on Miriam, her newly-dead friend. Pam soon gets to grips with the situation though.

**Setting**: Pam's bed, soon after Miriam, the zombie, and Amelia arrive at her house. This story tells how Amelia feels about Pam's getting a grip.

**WARNING: Adult themes and concepts**

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><p><strong>Amelia's POV<strong>

It was hard for me to move. Pam had done a real number on my bindings. The cords tying my wrists together, and to a bedpost behind my head, were especially taut. My ankles, tied together as well, were tethered to one of the bed's beautifully carved end-posts. Yup, I was hung up like an empty hammock on the very edge of the bed. From this position, I could only move my eyes with any ease, so there was little to do, but … um, observe, observe, observe! Observation also helped me to … _not_ think (okay, fret) about my current situation.

I'd been in bed with Pam before, but I'd never been in _Pam's_ bed before. And wow! Despite my discomfort, I was impressed by the sheer size and beauty of her antique four-poster. It was at least six-feet wide and dressed in the finest, and the lightest shades, of blue silk. The slippery, cool sheets and the pale colours gave the bed an icy feel, which I appreciated. It felt soothing, especially where it touched my aching, perspiring flesh. Perspiring? Okay, I was sweating. Pam's reception had been even colder than the bed sheets - not entirely what I'd expected upon my arrival with zombie-Miriam all ready to say a fond farewell. Really, I hadn't anticipated feeling this … threatened or this … unsafe or … Then I remembered I was trying to _not_ think about my situation.

Amelia, observe, I told myself silently.

I let my eyes follow the bed's tall end-post up to the overhead canopy. Nice! Maybe, the posts were carved from satinwood or boxwood. Maybe, the bed was English, Regency period? No, not Regency. It could be Victorian …. Geez, what did I know? I'd have to ask Pam about it, if she ever took this ball-gag out of my mouth! Damn! My thoughts kept coming back to Pam and she was the 'situation' I was trying to _not_ think about the most! I took a calming breath, in through my nose and out …. the same way, because my mouth was all obstructed! Ouch, something twinged that shouldn't. Damn Pam!

Amelia, observe, I reminded myself.

Soooooo … Hmmm ... Regency or Victorian, Regency or Victorian, I repeated over and over in my head. Boring myself already, I chanced a glance across the bed from my uncomfortably strung-out position. The bed's other occupants, Pam and Miriam, drew me away from my sudden furniture-fetish. Ooooh, observe, I thought. While they were doing _that_, Pam wouldn't be interested in making me sweat, in the bad way, anymore! I immediately felt safer … for the time being, anyway.

Kneeling on the bed facing each other, Pam and Miriam were locked in a clinch, kissing like there was no tomorrow! Yeah well, they probably had that kinda right! Pam's pale hand drifted up and tangled in Miriam's dark hair, while her other hand slid slowly down to caress and cup Miriam's still-clothed derrière. Pam used this grip to gently pull Miriam in ever more tightly to her; pelvis to pelvis, breast to breast, lips locked onto lips. Pam really had her, held her just where she wanted her, and then she bent Miriam back. Miriam's body arched and Pam's went with it, never losing contact. The kissing didn't stop; it murmured softly on and on and on...

Time passed. I continued observing, observing, observing. The kiss ... Well, it still went on, and I couldn't seem to drag my eyes away. My body's reaction to all this observation was salivation – just a little. This was a real good thing, because Pam had scared me spitless earlier tonight with her reaction, or overreaction I should say, to my zombie-raising! Then, I realized that if Pam and Miriam kept this kissing up, I would soon be … drooling! Not a good look! And, of course, Pam and Miriam did keep it up – 'it' being, the longest kiss I'd ever had the pleasure of witnessing. And there was no other movement, just the kissing. Neither zombie nor vampire needed to breathe, so neither was coming up for air. It was leaving me a little breathless too.

Phew! I really didn't want to faint from forgetting to breathe, or perhaps even worse, get caught drooling, so to give my eyes (ah, libido) a break, I searched up the bed's end-post again to find those pale, silky colours in the canopy. Yup, cooler already! For two dead-cold people, Pam and Miriam seemed to be warming up nicely and warming me up along with them. And that couldn't be right considering my situation! I should be mad, being bound as I was, not starting to get all hot 'n horny. But by now, I could almost taste the sweet moistness of their cool kiss and the intensity of that kiss was creating a sexually-charged atmosphere around us _all_. This … frisson was touching me, heating me, sucking me into their moment too! Or that was my excuse, anyway!

I almost sighed, but I didn't want to draw any attention to myself, not until Pam was way more satisfied than this. And all _this_ should be so hot, I thought, but it was just … so not. Not fair, because I was all tied up. Yeah, so not hot, I reminded myself, as ... Ouch! The actual knots binding me chafed my heated skin. These bonds were much too tight for comfort. That Pam!

Maybe I should go back to my new-found furniture fetish - Regency or Victorian, Regency or Victorian, but a quiet moan from … well, one of them, drew my eyes back to the girl-on-girl action. It was as if my eyes had never left, except that Miriam was breathing a little. I guess breathing, while optional, helped with any moaning required!

Pam still held Miriam arched in their unbelievably, finely-balanced pose. Her vampire strength made the beautiful posture look easy. My eyes followed Pam's slender, bare legs up to the two, rounded crescents of her posterior, which were just peeking out beneath her baby-pink satiny robe. The short robe had edged upwards as she'd bent forward revealing her shapely thighs and cheeks, now locked in place, and as rigid, white and smooth as any marble sculpture's. I knew Pam's skin would feel like cool silk over hard steel, if only I could touch it … if only I could move at all, that is. The cords tying my wrists were starting to bite into my flesh now. I tried to find some wriggle room for them to relieve the painful pinch, but I just couldn't. Damn that Pam! This was starting to hurt.

Amelia, observe, I told myself sternly.

My eyes hadn't left Pam's tightly-clenched rear end. A human would have weakened, fallen and squashed their partner in a very unerotic collapse, or popped a couple of vertebrae by now. But Pam wasn't human … and another moan drew my gaze reluctantly upwards. Pam was doing something to Miriam's slightly-parted lips, real fast … vampire-speed fast! Was she licking them?

Of course, my eyes couldn't actually see Pam's tongue moving. A pinkish blur hovering or vibrating over Miriam's mouth was all that was visible to my human eyes. During my sexcapades with Pam, she had never once done that to me or at least …. not on those lips! It gave a whole new meaning to the term 'oral sex'! And damn it, if it didn't really make me want to lick my own lips, and not just because they were dry, but in appreciation of the scene before me. Pam was being a real … lipteaser! I began imagining how Pam's moistened tongue would feel against my own parched orifice …. okay, mouth, at least to start with.

I imagined the tonguing sensation to be cool and light at first, sometimes barely-there, like a single feather flicking and tickling my slightly-parted lips … _moist_ lips, that is! And just as I pouted my pleasure searching for more, the feathering would become firmer, tracing and caressing the curves of my mouth, dipping in a little, to taste with a flicker, the truly sensitive skin just within. My lips would be tingling. Pam's tongue would be moving like lightning, cold yet hot. My lips would be getting warmer and warmer under the pressure of the constant caress. Pam's tongue would finally beat at my hot lips with the speed and intensity of a hovering hummingbird's wings. I wondered if Miriam's lips were really warming up! Was Pam missing Miriam's warmth? Was this some sort of special technique for 'hot' cold-on-cold loving? Hmmm.

During these imaginings, I had very effectively taken my mind off an ache beginning to form in my feet. I wiggled my toes a little. Difficult! It felt like the circulation was being cut off. Double Damn! Another slight moan thankfully refocused my attention. Pam appeared to have taken in a breath and was pouting perfectly, as she blew the cool exhale out over Miriam's lips. Miriam shivered in response to the breeze and opened her slightly-glazed eyes, but she kept her lips pouted ready for more! And yup, those lips looked hot, a lush ruby-red hot. From my angle, I could only partially see Pam licking her own pale-pink lips – real slow! I could see the moisture glisten. Damn Pam! Gagged, I couldn't get a good lick in on my own lips, which were still parched from my earlier Pam-induced panic. Observing this was like torture, but at least I had an answer to the 'heated' question. If colouring was anything to go by, I knew Miriam's red lips were warm to Pam and Pam's pink lips were cool to Miriam – a sensual shuffle. Maybe, I should look away to stop torturing myself, but ….

Pam still totally had Miriam, supporting her body weight - not that there was much of it – and then the lip-licking restarted. I hoped that Pam didn't bruise Miriam's lips too much, because zombies although very strong, did not heal … not at all, not ever. I couldn't help but be a little concerned, because after all, Miriam was mine too. I had raised her and controlled her so we could get to Pam's front door. And, if anything bad happened to Miriam, well …. I guess Pam would make sure I was dead meat too. Now it was my turn to shiver.

Amelia, observe, I told myself, firmly.

They were back to the kissing. What a relief! I let my eyes drift downwards for some more observation of Pam's bottom. Quivering cheeks! And I meant that literally. The two crescents visible to me were a vibrating, vamp-speed blur. Wow! The movement was minuscule - so fast it was actually hard to see, but oooooh…. I knew that pelvic tremble was quivering directly across Miriam's sexual centre. Pam had never eased her grip; they were still pressed together - clit to clit, I imagined. I wondered if Miriam was getting confused about which set of lips - upper or lower – were getting the more heated.

Suddenly Pam quit quivering. Muscles rippled underneath her marble skin as her bottom rolled, and she pressed firmly into Miriam's pelvis. Then the quivering started again. Someone made a little squeak (not me), so I looked up. Pam had gripped Miriam's hair and pulled her head further back into the arch. I really, really, really hoped zombie hair didn't fall out too easily. Miriam's eyes opened for a moment before rolling right back in her head. Geez, just like a zombie or what? She breathed in. Her lips formed a perfect 'O' shape – 'O' for orgasm, I'd say – as she let out a satisfied sigh, like ahahahhhhhhhhhhhhh, which was a lot more intelligible than anything I could say at the moment! Ball! Gag! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Amelia, observe, I told myself, patiently.

I relaxed and quietly took in and let out a calming, and unfortunately, non-orgasmic breath through my nose. I felt that little twinge in my side again, but not for long. Miriam's head dropped right back as she relaxed too, exposing her long, white throat. Her dark hair, the strands not entangled in Pam's hand anyway, fell down to sweep the bed. Then both her arms fell away from their hold around Pam to trail down, hanging loosely back to rest on the sheets, palms up. It was a pose of complete and utter surrender. And Pam still had her ... as if she would never let her go!

Pam's head darted down towards Miriam's slender, exposed throat. I jerked at the rapid movement and I shouldn't have. My wrists and ankles screamed a four-letter word at me – pain! But I forgot about that almost immediately when I saw Pam levitating a little to reach Miriam's throat. Then I forgot to be surprised by the levitating bit, as I became concerned (okay, terrified) about the Pam-biting-Miriam bit. Don't bite, I wanted so scream, but couldn't! Damn, damn, damn Pam don't bite. At the undertakers during my zombie-raising, I'd noticed that Miriam hadn't been embalmed, so she still had blood in her. It was not the sort of blood that a vampire should be drinking though, and especially not when it had all my voodoo ju-ju washing around in it. Pam's pale hair slipped forward to hang like a smooth curtain obscuring my view.

I raised my eyes to the canopy, crossed my fingers – yay! I could move something without hurting – and hoped for the best. I listened. I didn't hear anything like a snick or a snap. No fangs? Yup, Pam was really controlling herself … and the situation.

Amelia, observe, I told myself, encouragingly.

I followed my own advice and glanced back towards my two undead …. um, bedmates. Pam's head bobbed repeatedly, and her curtain of hair shimmered and rippled in response, but it didn't part. I continued to listen in. Was Pam licking? Again? No, I thought …. Kissing? It sounded like it. Soft, lip-smacking noises were now the only sound in the bedroom, at least to me. I crossed my toes too and kept hoping for the unbitten-best. Slowly, Pam eased off on the necking and raised Miriam back up, while levitating back down an inch to the bed herself. That Pam!

I began to feel a little woozy. Oh! I'd been holding my breath! Breathe, I reminded myself and took in a deep lungful of the sated atmosphere. Well ….. Ouch! I had ribs – painful, aching ribs. Pam's ungentle fireman's lift, her preferred method for carrying me in from the doorstep to this bedroom, would be responsible for my latest sore spot. I breathed more shallowly.

Miriam's arms had recaptured Pam around the waist, as once again the two faced each other in the kneeling position. Then Pam released Miriam's thick hair to hold onto her uncaressed butt cheek. Much to my relief, that hair did not fall out as Pam disentangled her hand. Miriam had a serious case of bed-head, but was otherwise unscathed. I uncrossed my fingers and toes.

Miriam and Pam stilled. This scene was _so_ déjà vu – it was back to where I had tuned in, but there seemed to be an even deeper silence – dead, I'd say - as they knelt regarding each other. The bedroom took on a peculiarly intense air and a little involuntary shiver ran down my spine. Hairs stood up on the back of my neck. It looked like time was standing still or like I was watching a snapshot of a moment in time. The shot showed two undead beings– one vampire and one zombie or two strikingly beautiful women – one blond and one brunette or two extremes – one wholesome milkmaid and one skinny catwalk-model or all of the above. It was definitely a two's-company-and-three's-a-crowd moment anyway. I tried not to breathe as I kept observing, which helped my ribs a little! Miriam was the grayer of the two and slim to the point of emaciation, but she seemed to shine with an inner light when her warm brown eyes locked onto Pam's cool blues.

By some mutual, unseen connection, they both sat back at the same time – their buttocks resting on their feet, with folded knees touching. Damn Pam and Miriam! Now I wanted to change position too, but I couldn't see that happening anytime soon – not with the way they were looking at each other. I remembered to breathe again, now that the Kodak moment was done.

Miriam smiled radiantly at Pam. She said, "Well, that was fine as far as a kiss and a cuddle go, but I thought you said you wanted to _fuck_ a zombie!" That Miriam! I mean, who knew zombies even liked sex, then had orgasms and still initiated more? Me and Pam that's who!

Pam snickered. Geez, at last she was getting happier. There was hope for me yet!

Miriam pouted at Pam. "I'm dead serious," she smirked. "Let me see if I can get you in the 'fucking' mood."

She lifted up her slim arms to untie the knot at the back of her neck, the knot holding up her 'shroud' …. well, halter-neck dress actually. I watched as she slowly untied that knot. I hoped Pam might make a certain connection, like - let's untie Amelia, who has made me very happy by bringing me my lover! But no! Pam's attentions were elsewhere. Tiny, plum-sized breasts had been revealed! The top part of Miriam's bright red dress had slipped down …. Yup, untied. Tease! Miriam slowly continued to raise her arms up higher above her head. She clasped her hands together and stretched up ….. Her nipples reached for the sky. Nice! So okay …. It looked like I wasn't getting untied or going anywhere soon.

Amelia, observe, I told myself, but where?

My current observation was more interesting than the carved end-posts or canopy overhead, but this was the most unsatisfying threesome I'd ever sort-of-participated in. My hands and feet were numb, my lips were dry, my jaw was developing a bad case of gag-ache, and bondage was definitely going to be on my Not-To-Do List for some time into the future ... that is, if I had a future! I wiggled my fingers and toes to restore some of the blood flow. Just in case I had that future, I didn't want to lose a digit from lack of circulation.

Amelia, observe... Oooooh!

Miriam's brown eyes seemed to be responding to what I imagined was a heated look from Pam. Were they melting with desire, getting chocolaty even? Yum. Yum. Yum. Was I beginning to hallucinate or just getting hungry? Whatever the answer, I could see we were about to leave the kiss and cuddle phase of this reunion in the dust. Pam reached out for Miriam's...

I closed my eyes. If I kept observing this, I was going to be hungry in more ways than one.

Amelia, decide, I told myself. Was I up for watching more than just a kiss and a cuddle ... considering my situation? Well, I didn't have anything else to do, anywhere else to go and this ball-gag was starting to make me drool anyway, so...

I heard something tearing – Miriam's dress? Okay...

Amelia, observe, I told myself, bravely.

The End

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><p>I have written <strong>Miriam's Point of View - Miriam's Monologue -<strong> as well, which follows on from here.


	3. Miriam's Monologue

**Disclai**mer: All the characters in this story belong to Charlaine Harris and her Southern Vampire Mystery series.

This story is told from **Miriam's point of view,** beginning after Just a Kiss and a Cuddle and finishing before F%&k a Zombie.** Adult themes and sexual content.**

Many many hugs and thanks to **AllAboutEric** for betaing this for me.

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><p><strong>Miriam's Monologue<strong>

I lay dead still, my face firmly planted in Pam's crotch – nose to nub and lips to 'lips'. I had been lying like this for a little while, just feeling that all was well with my world. I'd done died and gone to heaven! Well, not quite. Being a zombie hadn't addled my brain that much, but I was glad to be drug back from the dead, and happy with my current position in it! Mmm, it felt good. I felt good and I could tell that Pam felt good too, by the moisture pooling at my lips.

After my dress had been torn right off me as our kiss and cuddle session ended, I'd amazed Pam (and myself) by taking over the oral action. I'd felt better and stronger than I had in what seemed like forever. Now I wondered if Pam was ready for another round.

I took a quick lick at Pam's lips-between-her-hips and then nuzzled her nub with my nose. To me, Pam tasted like pear drops. Yup, pear drops; those pale-pink hard candies that were English originally, I think. Once upon a time, I wouldn't have been able to name that flavour, but...

I could remember Pam and I surfing the net one night, looking for something to titillate our fancies – something hard and not so sweet! We'd come across Pansy's Pantry, suppliers of hard candy amongst other things. In a nostalgic moment that surprised us both, Pam had ordered some drops - for me to taste and for her to taste through me. Long story, short - I'd sucked, she'd tasted and said it sucked, or words to that effect! So ended the nostalgia. Full sucking stop! For Pam, blood was best, which had always been okay by me.

I licked Pam again, more slowly, savouring the flavour. Maybe a zombie could enjoy eating other things besides brains! Pam quivered, as I nuzzled into her soft, downy curls. They tickled my nose as I glanced upwards. Pam was a bit like a pear drop herself, hard but sweet (sort of) and still pinkish in her robe (sort of)! She looked unwrapped; her robe was wrenched open, with only the tie around her waist still in place. Pam sure could tie a knot!

Was she ready for another round? Oh, stupid question! Being a zombie must have affected my brain after all! I grinned and gave a little giggle into Pam's crotch, which gave birth to another quiver.

Her hands stopped smoothing down my bedhead, the one she'd begun creating during my first ever 'oral-gasm' earlier. My lips could still feel the heat. Now she slid her fingers around the back of my skull, grasped gently and pressed. This cuddled my face further into her moist centre. More? Well okay. I was happy to go back for seconds.

There was something to be said for not needing to breathe – something like 'in your face' meets 'up close and personal'. If I had needed to breathe, I'd be dead already – suffocated by Pam's clitoral-crowned chasm, as she sometimes liked to call it. I called it Pam's sex, because ... um, because it suited Pam somehow. Pam and sex just went together so well. At least, for me. What a way to go, though – suffocated by Pam's sex. Still, not this girl - not now! But I wondered if any, or maybe how many, had gone that way. I was being silly. Pam wouldn't have wasted good blood; or would she? I gave another giggle, which returned a quiver and a clench.

Alrighty! I needed to stop my reactivated brain wandering and let my tongue do the wandering instead. I needed to forget sex and dying and get a one-track mind – sex, sex, sex – because I'd already done the dying part, apparently. But I was just soooo surprised to be undead ... and zombie!

Pam relaxed right back into the silky pillows propped up against the carved headboard. She closed her eyes. Maybe she was savouring ... the moment, as she gently twisted a strand of my hair through her fingers. I leisurely licked without moving very far, while contemplating my position. My zombie position, that is.

It had all begun out of nothingness with sensation, an unpleasant prickling sensation poking at my brain, where once, all had been void. Then a tingle in my chest, where my heart had once beat, radiated out from a very painful, pinprick start. Gradually, the prickles and the tingles goosebumped all over me ... reaching every part of me, until chills ran up and down my spine ... repeatedly. Unsettling! A little hair-raising! Okay, a lot! It gave me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it now. But the sensation brought with it ... desire, a desire to seek warmth.

I think I could have ignored the desire and dove back into the nothingness of the void. It had swaddled me in safety, but ... um, I'd always had an adventurous spirit. So when I felt my mind, as well as my body, being drug towards something warm, I'd let go of the void and surfaced like a heat-seeking missile.

And so I 'awoke'. My eyes flew open, as I sat bolt upright. I found the warmth that attracted me was from someone called Amelia. She was my bokor, which meant zombie-raiser, so she said. Her whole being radiated life's heat juiced up by juju, her own personal voodoo magic. A combo hard for a zombie to resist!

At first, I hadn't understood that I'd been dead. There I was sitting up in a coffin – and a very nice coffin at that – but, for the life of me, I couldn't remember dying. So that had been a _lot_ confusing and so had the _being-a-zombie_ bit. A zombie! Then Amelia explained. She had raised me so that I could say goodbye to Pam properly. I wasn't sure about the 'saying goodbye', but I sure was happy with the 'saying hello' so far tonight.

Amelia was not so happy, though. Pam never did like surprises – especially not the getting-caught-_totally_-off-guard sort of surprises! She hadn't paused to find out if Amelia's intentions were good. Oh no! In a flash or should I say a blur, Pam had carried my bokor in from the doorstep, tethered her tight and hung her out to dry. Well, hung her from the bedposts like a sagging washing line to await her fate ... uncomfortably.

I felt bad for Amelia. Maybe it was just the juju between us, but I didn't want anything awful to happen to her. That there was probably some real smart magic on Amelia's part. It kept her, the zombie-raiser, safe ... from the zombie, at least. Vampires were another matter altogether. But I didn't want harm to come to Amelia. I desired her warmth. I didn't want to eat her brains or anything else nasty, like ... chomping on her flesh. That would be a bad, bad thing for Amelia! And probably for me too. I figured that if a bokor died, their zombie did as well, one way or another, and maybe not in a good way.

Just thinking about it made me feel cold. I could feel those shivery heebie jeebies ready to run up and down my spine at the very thought of a dead Amelia. I wasn't surprised when a surge of desire for her heat suddenly rippled through me. The magic, the juju, had kicked up a notch. That's how bokors controlled their zombies ... through this desire for a connection to life's warmth. At least, I think that's how the voodoo magic worked, or it had for Amelia ... before Pam! Now I felt the desire, but could ignore it. And I did. I focused on Pam. The more desire I felt for Pam's 'heat', the more my desire for Amelia's dove.

Still, I flicked my eyes over Amelia's way. She wasn't looking at me though. She was staring up at the bed's canopy where shreds of my red 'shroud' dress hung like bloody stripes against a pale blue sky – sort of like a scary sunset.

Sunset! I remembered it was soon after a sunset, only a few weeks ago, that Pam had bought the dress for me. Before the shredding, it had nipped in high under my mosquito-bite breasts and showed off my slim back.

"No underwear required," Pam had smirked at the time.

But shoes! Now that had been a different story. They were required. Fun times! Truly! I had never tired of trying on shoes. Eventually, a pair of scarlet peep-toes with skyscraper heels were purchased for their good looks alone. Walking in them? Not possible! Oh no!

When I'd pointed this out, Pam had simply raised an eyebrow and said, "You won't be _walking_ in them!"

I'd adored the outfit; the scarlet looked stunning against my black hair. But later that night, I'd worried. Wouldn't I look like a blood-bag when I wore it? Never one to hold back, I'd asked Pam if the blood-bag effect was what she wanted.

She'd met my eyes with an intensity that made me wonder if she was going to glamour me. "My heart's desire is to turn you from being that blood-bag into my child," she'd said.

I'd gone all squee! Well, we had talked about turning, but I was suddenly like an overawed fangirl. I wasn't sure if I felt joy or fright, probably both!

"So it's sort of symbolic," I'd said, scrambling to get my act together. My outfit was literally to die for. Pam had just smiled and said, "Probably more like a fetish."

We'd laughed together. We'd been happy together. But that was our last shopping trip before I'd become too ill to enjoy going out to shop! Now that was something I'd never thought would happen! And it was before some vampire called Victor made what was left of my life a misery. Don't go there, Miriam, I told myself firmly.

Anyway, I wasn't surprised that the dress had ended up being torn off me. I'd never imagined leaving those shoes at an undertakers though. Every time I'd tried to clamber out of my coffin, the shoes' heels had caught on the black satin lining. Eventually, Amelia had simply slipped them off, and helped me to clumsily roll out. I don't think coffins were designed for exits – not really. We'd left those shoes neatly inside the coffin and headed to Amelia's car, with me shuffling along barefoot. That part was all very hazy, but I had happily followed Amelia and her radiant warmth. Now Amelia looked, um ... unhappy, if drooling and chafed, bound wrists were anything to go by.

"Have you died down there?" Pam asked, with a roll of her hips. Then her thighs clenched around my head, pressing my face further into her. Pam had me secured too! Our eyes met as I stuck my tongue out and in! I breathed in and out, blowing a raspberry. Take that! And she did with a grin, followed by a little hip lift to show her appreciation. A contented sigh followed or was it a sigh of relief that the zombie in me was still working? Whatever the reason, it focused my mind on the surprise (and I did like surprises) that Amelia had given me – Pam! Hello or goodbye? For now, only the moment mattered. One-track mind, Miriam, I told myself!

So I retrieved my tongue with a swirl and began to move lower, as Pam unclenched her thighs to allow me access. I supported and caressed Pam's bare buttocks, as she crossed her ankles somewhere above my head. I licked, sucked and kissed my way down towards the deep south, encouraged by a 'mm mm mmmm' from Pam. Her fingers went on twisting my dark, thick locks, tangling all her earlier smoothing efforts.

Pam had always loved my long hair and during my treatments for leukaemia she'd used every trick in her vampire-book to keep it on my head. Naturally, vampire tricks were bloody. Trick One - scalp massages, where Pam had fangily pricked her fingers first! Trick Two - drops of Pam's blood in my shampoo and conditioner! Trick Three – just drinking the stuff straight from the source, eventually! These ideas seemed to have done the ... trick! My hair was as long and lustrous as ever and so far it seemed to be staying put, even when given a wild restyling by Pam. Still, there had been some hair loss. We should've put drops of blood in my body wash too, because I was as bald as a ... um, Hollywood where Pam had once enjoyed my short, crisp curls. Vampire blood use was not an exact science!

A low growl from Pam reminded me of my location. I had reached the most southerly point of Pam's chasm, so I decided to find my way up-country again. Before moving north, I flattened my tongue, and then licked from end to end. I didn't dally on my quest, until I made it to the most northerly tip where the jewel in the crown rested, slightly hidden by pale curls. I nuzzled the soft down aside and then nipped and suckled until the plump jewel revealed itself. It peeked out and glistened, just as Pam's blue eyes were taking a peek and glistening at me and my endeavours. So I went and did it all over again. After that, Pam's fangs peeked out and glistened too. On my next sortie moving up from the deep south, I stopped at a couple of offshoots from the main chasm. At each, I delved a little deeper, before continuing on my way.

Then, I decided to stay top end. Pam agreed with my decision.

"Yesssssss! More!" she instructed, through fully-outed fangs. And that's what I gave her.

I sucked her jewel into my mouth, past my own sensitive lips, and licked gently, before going back to basics. I tongued 'Y' against the jewel, followed quickly by 'e' and then a series of s's, which slid around the jewel's swelling edges. Pam jolted and ... was attending to her own top end by rolling her perky nipples between her fingertips. Nice! Busying her hands like that would also help to keep my hair on my head! Vampire Trick Number Four!

I pushed on. I wasn't finished yet and neither was she.

Catching my eye, Pam pouted to me, "More." So I tippy-tongued the letters – m o r e - around her now pale-pink jewel. Its alabaster toning had flushed with ... delight. It looked like a pear drop! Surprising myself and Pam, I exhaled a cool breath right across the chasm. I must have breathed without realising it.

"Fuck," Pam said in response to the breeze, but I wasn't going to 'fuck' her. Well, not with those letters anyway. I was going to give her what she wanted though!

Pam's favourite letter was "i". It wasn't her favourite because she was self-centred (not exactly), but because of the feel of it. Across her glistening jewel, my tongue lashed the down-stroke and then it hit her with the dot. And repeat! I only managed this, because my new-found zombie strength let me hold Pam's swivelling hips, just where I wanted them.

So now with the jewel standing proud over the chasm, Pam was leaving any further exploration in my capable hands, as well as my mouth. Reluctantly, I released a hip to free up one hand. My fingertips swept across Pam's vampire skin, not at all cold to me now. Reaching my goal, I dipped a finger and then two into the chasm's upper offshoot and stroked. My tongue, possessing an endurance it never had when I was human, worked at the jewel until it throbbed. Pam's hips bucked and ground into my face, as she softly moaned and tugged at her nipples. Her skin glowed, something I had never ever seen before. More exotic, more erotic, I thought, as her glittering eyes met mine. I plunged a moistened finger into the channel way down south and stroked again and again and again... Then I hung on. Pam positively roared her approval. Yup, I hung on, while everything rolled and clenched – chasm, buttocks, hands, fingers, ankles, toes, eyes – as Pam reached her pinnacle and then fell right over the orgasmic edge.

"Miriam," she screamed. To me, it was the sweetest sound ever, even if slightly muffled. Pam's tightly clenched thighs covered my ears!

Pam gradually relaxed her grip and said, "Fuck, Miriam." And I knew she meant it.

Suddenly, my world blurred. I had been clenched and rolled myself!

Darn vampire speed! Darn vampire recovery time! As my world came back to rights, I refocused on Pam's grinning face which was now between _my_ legs. Still on the bed but kneeling on her haunches, she had me on my back, with my thighs up over her shoulders. My 'personals' were in her face and being given the up-close treatment. Pam had pulled a fast one on me! And I'd enjoyed it. Now that I wasn't human, a vampire twirl at speed didn't make me feel like I'd been in a washing machine during the spin cycle!

I sighed happily, exhilarated not to be queasy and dizzy.

Pam kissed me on my ... Hollywood lips ... again and again and again... Well, ffff...fine!

I glanced up at the overhead canopy, as Pam's mouth began to make good her promise on the fucking front. I saw a torn pink robe had joined the shredded red of my dress. The sunset didn't look so scary, now that it had pale-pink highlights. I wondered if I could still be Pam's snarky sidekick as a zombie. The more I was with her; the more my desire to stay with her grew. It was like I had come ... Yup, I'd definitely done that and would again! Uh, where was I? Oh, yes! With Pam, it was like I had truly come alive again.

As I looked back at the activity heating up between my legs, I realised that Pam had dressed me personally for my coffin. I hadn't noticed before, but she'd decorated my Hollywood. She'd vajazelled me ... with a rainbow. The tiny, multicoloured gems sparkled in the low light cast by the chandelier. Pam paused to lick her own lips, maybe savouring my flavour. I was glad I was still edible in some way. Following my gaze, she smirked at me, before getting back to the ... kissing.

Once there, she meticulously hunted for the treasure hidden at the end of the rainbow. It felt good. Oh, so good! And that was without fangs. I didn't feel them once! Pam was being very careful not to injure or bite me. My guess was that zombies didn't heal much, if at all, and zombie blood? No use to a vampire! It was dead, but I ... definitely ... was ... not!

My whole body sizzled as Pam amped up her vamp speed. I bucked against her lightning-fast tongue. I tore at the bedding. I arched my back even more. What to say? Nothing coherent. What to do? I gave myself over to the treasure hunt.

Just when I was sure that Pam had delved deep enough, for long enough to find that treasure, she stopped dead! Full fucking stop!

I couldn't help wailing "Noooooo!" Nothing incoherent about that statement. I had been teetering on the treasured golden edge!

"Have you died down there?" It was my turn to ask. I raised my hips to encourage, and my eyebrows to question.

Pam eased my legs from her shoulders. I let them fall onto the bed, where they lay open and quivering like the jellies they'd become. That's when I really saw Pam! During the earlier blur, she had not only undressed, but redressed! My favourite 'girl's best friend' was strapped to her slender, strong hips. Now she buckled that strap more tightly. Hot-pink-and-plastic looked primed and positively ready to go. Just like me!

Tingles ran up and down my spine; my skin goosebumped all over, but it was all good. No heebie jeebies this time. A throb or two pulsed between my still-quivering thighs. Funny where my pulse was now, I thought, as it confirmed my desire for Pam.

"Fuck a zombie?" I asked, as that desire pooled right between my legs.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Pam replied.

Oh sugar! I was so ffff ... fine, just fine!

**The End**


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